Today was a pretty great day. My department had our first team bonding outing, we went boating on the beautiful Pacific Ocean along the California coast. We sipped wine, lounged on a yacht and had a delicious lunch. Although I have found my job to be stressful and overwhelming at times, I felt happy and at ease today.
When I got home, the overthinking began. Well, I may have been a little too soft-spoken. I could’ve been funnier or more social. Maybe this person dislikes me. Maybe they don’t think I do a good job. It started to suck the happiness I had just been feeling out and away from me.
Thankfully, I noticed this as it was occurring. I forced myself to pause and think “What is this mindset doing to benefit me?” and my answer was: absolutely nothing. In fact, it was making a positive experience miserable.
Sure, all of those things I was obsessively thinking about could be true. But I also could be making a huge deal out of nothing. Trying to be the best you can be is a goal we should all strive towards, but that’s all you can do. You can only do the best that you can, and you should rest easy and sleep well at night so long as you know that to be your truth.
Consciously controlling my overthinking can be difficult, but I deserve peace of mind. And I’m going to keep aiming for that.