Day 1 of my new adventure.

I moved to Orange County, California from Atlanta, Georgia exactly 12 days ago. So you might be wondering.. why would this be considered day 1…? The first 12 days of being here felt like every other time that I’ve been to California. I’ve visited this area several times, and until today, this time felt like any other visit. Trips to the beach, trying new restaurants, exploring cool spots in the area.. the usual. It felt like my return flight would be approaching any day. But today, I woke up- my little brother, who had been visiting for the past week and helping me move in, is gone; my boyfriend, one of my major reasons for moving here, is off at work.. and I am alone. 100% alone. As I woke up this morning, I came to the terrifying realization that I could not simply drive 20 minutes to my parents house or walk 20 feet into my best friend and roommates bedroom. I scrolled through my social media accounts with my eyes half open, and realized that I am worlds away from everything I’ve ever known. The last 17 years of my life (and the only years I consciously remember) were spent in the Atlanta suburbs. Georgia is home to me, and California has always just been a far-fetched dream. But this morning, I stumbled sleepily into the kitchen of my new home, made a black coffee, and sat on my new porch drinking it. At first, I was depressed and slightly distraught by the homesickness. How could I have done something so stupid, how could I have left behind almost everything I love? But then an inspiring thought crossed my mind- this is the beginning of my new adventure. I have left my comfort zone, I have left the ground and hope to take flight in this completely new environment. The world is in front of me. And it’s not like I’m totally unprepared. I have great support back home from my family and two best friends. I have my boyfriend here to help me through every up and down of this process. I have a part time job that I am starting at tonight. I have an interview for a full-time career job tomorrow morning. I have been using a dating app (with a friends section) to meet girls in the area and have a coffee date with one potential friend tomorrow. I have plans to go to an art festival later this week. Things aren’t as unstable as my anxiety are making me feel like they are. So I have pledged to myself that every time those little insecure thoughts of “Why the fuck did you do this?” and “You’re not going to pull this California thing off.” creep back into my mind, I’m just going to do what I did today- make myself a cup of hot, black coffee, look myself in the mirror, and tell myself that I’m a boss ass bitch and the only thing between me and my goals is my own mind.

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